Birds

I wonder with closed eyes
The closed minds of people like me
Surely we who are wise can dig past the stereotypes and
Uncover a valuable identity
But we don't...
We're taught to soar like eagles
But live as if we're pigeons
We shrink back as if we're chickens but
The only bird to really describe us is the dodo
We have wings but don't fly and
Soon we will look at extinction
Let's keep it real though
The limit is the sky but
We're far from free
Going off what C.S. Lewis said, "We love our mud pies too much."
You see, our sight sees what's outside
Hence the purpose of our eyes right?
We see as high as our head will take us
Still our feet are firmly on the ground
Imagine with me:
Soar straight into the vast sky
Fly miles high and stare down
Take in the view
For the first time
Imagine seeing life for it is,
That it's not about you.
But go ahead
Show off your great wingspan and
Your beautiful plumage
The attention you crave is as big as your ego
Go ahead
Get fat to the point that your wings cannot lift you to freedom
Oh, if you only knew
If only you could
Change what is in your bird feed,
Remove the lies and
Digest this truth:
Until you can freely soar, you cannot truly see the need.

Storms

As I'm writing this, it is raining outside. How fitting for this message! It honestly reminds me of the fun times I had growing up watching flash floods with my family. In the safety of our back porch we would watch the storm rage on. It was a really cool sight. More importantly we would watch people actually try to drive across the flooded street. It may be terrible to say that we watched and did not do anything to help. I think our mindset was to let those people figure it out or that someone will come along to help them. Eventually we would see a couple of guys walk out during the flood to help push the car to the other side. Awesome. Thank God they got there safely.

I think you can probably figure out where I'm going with this story. It warms our hearts when we see people make it to the other side during or after a storm. We probably enjoy our comfort thanking God that we are watching from a distance. We probably know how to avoid those storms and think, "Those people should have been better prepared. They should have checked the weather and stayed at home or something. What were these idiots thinking?" Yet, when people come out to the other side we say, "Thank God they got there safely! It's truly a miracle that they survived." It's great to hear about those going from "rags to riches" or cinderella/underdog stories. The ability to overcome obstacles and struggles in life adds such worth to life. By that I mean it helps us to not take things for granted and to persevere with the hope of a better tomorrow. we see ourselves as that hero/heroin beating the odds. We see the potential of their rich back story and put ourselves in their shoes. We can relate to them because we have that same potential. Oh, but that slice of humble pie starts crumble when we choose not to see the same potential outside of the story. We each have a purpose and are unique. And yet, we do not accept this truth in our own story. It could very well be that we can't see our destination because we're stuck in our own storm. Things aren't looking beautiful and it's tempting to believe that our identity is the same. The problems and worries in life ring so loud in our minds that we cannot hear gentler whispers of truth in our ear. Maybe, we are in circumstances that are absolutely impossible to overcome. We checked the weather forecast, prepared for the worst and knew the where all the exits were in case of an emergency. And just like that, just when we think that we have a sense of control and can rely on ourselves, that storm occurs. Let's look at Mark 4:35-41 (ESV):


"On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, 'Let us go across to the other side.' And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?' And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, 'Peace! Be still!' And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, 'Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?' And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, 'Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?'”

Now, there are two thing we should understand moving forward. First, in Mark's account of the gospel, we can trace back and see what has been revealed about Jesus thus far. The disciples know that he is a teacher. They have seen him heal several different kinds of people. So, they know a couple things about Jesus but generally not a whole lot. Jesus does a great job in keeping his identity "hush-hush" until the time was right. They don't equate Jesus as God before He calms the storm. They ask in verse 41, "Who then is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?" They know the stories of the creator God. Only He has power to control such things. In the Matthew it says they were "marveled" and in Luke it says they were both "marveled and fearful." In any case, they are absolutely flabbergasted at what had just happened.

Next, we should focus on another part of the back story. Some of these disciples, like Peter, are fishermen by trade. They know what they're doing when it comes to traveling on a boat. They've been through storms before. There are those who were tax collectors, like Matthew, aren't as seasoned as their peers. You have on a boat two different kinds of people. You have the person who won't really know what to do in this type of situation. They are confused and running around with their heads chopped off. 
"What's going on?" 
"This isn't what I signed up for!" 
They're the ones soiling themselves and want to curl up into a ball. There is the other person who is trying to get the oars together. They're trying to keep the sails intact and the boat from tipping over. In any case, this a massive storm that none of them have ever experienced. 

Every contingent plan is gone and there are no exits. They are in a state of emergency and run over to Jesus. He's asleep.
"Dude, do you not feel what's going on?! Do you not see what's happening right now?! We're all going to die!" 
Our lives get dark and chaotic and we run to God...BUT WE DON'T ASK FOR HELP! We try to manage the anxiety and confusion on our own. We try to keep this sense of control in our lives. We think that God is asleep during our storm and ask Him, "Why are you sleeping?!" 
"Don't you see that my world is falling apart?" 
"Don't you see that nothing in my life is stable?" 
"Don't even care about what's going on right now"
Maybe, God's waiting for us to wake up to the reality that we cannot do this on our own. Maybe he's waiting to see when we can finally stop living life with a need to control things and let him be our Lord and Savior. Maybe, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, we see God more as a genie, made to cater to our wishes. Maybe we made our view of God so small that we run to Him and don't even believe in His power. Let's take it a step further, some of us probably know a lot about God. We know the songs, the hymns, the sermons, the cool phrases and Christian lingo. But when these storms occur, deep in our hearts we must admit that we do not know God. We really don't believe that He is who He says He is. We believe in certain things about God. We identify Him as a great teacher but we don't believe that He is the Prince of Peace. We know about His ability to heal but we don't believe He is Immanuel, God with us. If we knew God intimately, our actions, prayers and worship would reflect our relationship. Why do we have such little to no faith in God? Now, I can understand that not every circumstance is the same. Not everyone has the luxury of living in a free country or in comfort. But there is a great message in this story. May we see that God is truly with us during our most chaotic storms. Even when life seems to be throwing us around like a rag doll may we continue to run after God and seek his peace. May we believe that Jesus is the Lord of any and every storm. May we believe that He is God and that He is able.

The last point I will make in this message is something we can easily overlook. After Jesus calmed the sea and the wind died down, it was still evening. God will give you peace in your heart but it could still be evening. Some of those circumstances may not change right away. However, Jesus was still with the disciples when they continued on their journey. He will surely be with you in every darkness that may surround your life right now. Psalm 23:4 (ESV), "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

May our hearts find peace in God. May we believe that Jesus is exactly who He claims to be. May we seek His face before seeking His hand. May we come to know God and not just a lot of head knowledge about Him. I pray that we can expand our view of God and see that He is bigger than our storms. And even if our circumstances may never change, may God's gracious love change us from the inside out. May we live with a peace that surpasses all understanding and give God control of our lives. Have faith and believe that He is able.

I Want More

It's hard for me to settle for eating one girl scout cookie. I think this is why it is good that they are priced at $4 a box. So many of us can go through an entire sleeve or box with a glass of cold milk nearby. We put on a movie or a tv series and just go to town. The crazy part is we rationalize it. 

- They are seasonal.
- The money is going to a good cause.
- I just want to reward myself for eating right.
- I swear I can stop at any time.
My wish sometimes is to be able to eat those delicious cookies and have them turn into carrots when they are consumed. I think this wish stems out of my laziness to work out and lacking motivation to live healthy. Lately, I've been trying to do these things more often and it has been going over well. There are times in which it is hard to get up and drive to the gym because there is no one to go with me. If I can be completely honest, I really want to look a certain way and eat healthier but I don't want it bad enough to change certain things. As much as I want six pack abs and a great physique, the desire is not strong enough to do away with my laziness. I am selfish. Even my goal to work out stems of my selfishness to make other people look at me in awe and jealousy. I want more attention. I want more eyes on me. I want more glory and praise for me and my body. So often, we as Christians would say that we want one thing when are hearts are truly geared toward ourselves. We don't want more of God. We want more things. We want God to give us what we want and more of it. We wouldn't say that we are selfish people out loud but we're hiding the truth. 

Matthew 6:21 says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

What do you really want? 

What is it that you're chasing after with such focus and relentless energy?

Some of us would want God only until a certain point.

We want God...unless He starts asking me to do something hard.

We want God...until He starts taking away certain things or people from my life.

We want God...but if makes me look like one of those religious nuts, then I'm done.

We go to church Sunday after Sunday and treat the experience as if we're sampling for food at a store.

It's free and enough to make us want more. Yet, as soon as it costs us something, we don't want it anymore. As soon as God starts tugging us for more than we are already giving, we want to move on to a different product. I want more of God so long as it does not cost me anything. Shouldn't this make us sincerely concerned with our reason for following God?! As soon as the gospel no longer feels warm and fuzzy or start making outrageous/uncomfortable claims, we head in the other direction.

Let me tell you something church people.

YOU ARE NOT ALADDIN! GOD IS NOT YOUR GENIE! 

We have severely downplayed our view of God to that of a myth or legend. We are distorted into believing that God caters to our every whim. 

- God I want you to be this...

- God I want you to be that...

- God I want you to do this right now...

Whatever happened to respecting and honoring the distinctive line between Creator and creature?

We want the loving part of God but shun the God who is sovereign, almighty, all-powerful, fierce and jealous.

We want to able to follow God but not be required in making any real and substantial changes to our actions and thought life.

We want to walk on water but are not willing to get out of the boat.

We want to be free but are not willing to relinquish control.

We want God's forgiveness but reject the idea of repentance.

I encourage each and every one of us to re-evaluate how much we actually desire God.

Do we really want more of God or do we simply want more stuff?

Are we willing to look foolish for the sake of the gospel?

Are we willing to lose everything in order to gain an even greater reward?

Are we ok with the notion that in wanting God more will mean giving up control?

I pray that we, as believers, will elevate our pursuit of seeing, experiencing and glorifying God above all else.

The Big Question

         You get one shot at this. Well, this is generally not done as much anymore. I mean, how many people get married these days? With all the statistics about divorce it’s a wonder people still tie the knot. But here I am, ready for the next step in my relationship and chapter in my life. For us guys, it’s probably the most stressful time! You’re wondering what to say, how to bring it up and hoping for a good reaction. There’s nothing better than hearing that one syllable, three letter word, “Yes.” You need to do this right the first time or why bother doing it in the first place?

I first met Alex at the local Panera restaurant. Needless to say I was incredibly nervous but who wouldn’t? I mean things start off a little awkward. You’re not really sure what you have to talk about. Do you have anything in common? Will they laugh at my corny jokes? Will they get my pop references? Will the car I drive matter? What if I don’t make enough in my current job? Thank God that we hit things off pretty well. Not really sure how it happened really but we just clicked. Dinner started to become a regular occasion. Our conversations moved past the trivial weather and how our days went. Topics began to dig deep into beliefs, life goals and dreams. We were on the same page and I couldn’t be happier. Things were going great. But that’s when it really hit me. It’s that time. One year has come and gone and I need to make my move. That’s right. It’s time for the big question!

 I’ve been preparing all day and it’s time to execute the plan. I like to keep things really simple and so I asked Alex to meet me at the local Panera that night. As I sat in the booth begging my body not to sweat, I began to do some breathing exercises. Not only did they not work but I felt like I was hyperventilating. 

Get it together David. Alex is walking to you right now. Take it easy. We’ve been planning this all day. It’s time to grow a pair and man up. You got this! Muster up every ounce of confidence in this body and formulate those well rehearsed sentences. Bring out that passion and speak with a rich tone. Let there be no hint of deception, share your feelings with complete transparency and just be yourself.

“Hey how are ya?”

No turning back now.

“Pretty good and you?”

“I’ve been a little anxious lately but I’m sure it’ll pass.”

Great response David. Now go with it.

“Anxious? About what?”

“Well, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about tonight. Last year we met at this Panera. It was a little nerve wracking for me and I’m sure it was awkward for you too. But during this past year we’ve gotten pretty close and comfortable with each other. I’ve been thinking all day how I would bring this up but I figured the best way is to be completely 

blunt and straight to the point.

The ring David.

“David, is this a…”

“There is no one I love more. I’ve been searching for a very long time, hoping to find the one. I’ve hinted at this before in our conversations. I believe that now, more than ever before, I’m ready for this next step.

“David, I don’t know what to say...”

“This may seem like a big surprise but I just need you to say yes, or at least some variation of agreement, when I ask you this next question.

Alex, do I have your permission to marry your daughter?”

And the rest was history…

SOS27

We walk on these familiar streets

Sharing stories and the joy of laughter

The city sleeps

And the sight of your eyes 

Underneath the moonlight is what I'm after

The night is full

Nothing is seems more bright

But smile my dear

Prove me wrong

We walk over this familiar bridge

Still waters underneath

Only to be moved

By the gentle breeze

It catches your hair

And like a thief I'm caught

I tried to make off with a kiss but you pull away

No one sees

The city still sleeps

We walk to this familiar door

We think so much

And say so little

Dare I move closer?

We stare at each other but neither moving forward

It's now or never

Before I can even decide

One finger decides for me

All that you say

The only thing that rings in my heart to this day,

"The city is still asleep..." 

Why Do I Keep Writing About Love?

This isn't a poem. I'm taking a sort of break from those for now. It's been a while since I've shared what's on my mind and heart. To put it out there first of all, thank you for reading this blog. It is greatly appreciated and I honestly hope that it helps you in your life in some way. 

I tend to write poems with a specific theme. As many of you can probably guess I enjoy writing about romance and relationships. Whether this is between two people or our relationship with God, I can't help but write with this specific theme. I know what some of you might be thinking:

- He's so sensitive

- Dude you need to lay off the rom coms

- No one actually reads your stuff bro

- What a sap

- Will he stop writing this lovey dovey crap

- What's so great about love man?

- Just shut up already with this long list of imaginary quotes

It's true that some of you are thinking that way now. I would like to first address that if you don't like my writing than by all means you don't have to read it. Some may disagree with how much I share about my life and some may think it's a blessing. Either way, I would like to say that I am smart enough to keep specific details of my life between be and a few close friends. However, there are plenty of things in my life that I believe people can relate to. This is a great transition into what I want to talk about next. The best way that I can explain why I write this theme over and over again is quite simple. 

I truly believe that love is the most powerful experience, thing, entity, feeling and force ever.

My parents officially divorced when I was 19 years old but were separated since I was 10.

The thought of marriage scares me to my absolute core.

As much as I write about love time and time again, the idea of spending life with another is simultaneously terrifying, intriguing and beautiful.

We are all made to love something and in our world today there are so many things to love.

I'm not going to bother listing anything out you guys are smart enough to think of a few things right now.

I've probably said this before but it's good to say it again.

Even though my parents are divorced, I believe that my marriage won't end the same way.

There are plenty of scenarios that have played out in my head that would test this statement.

I get it and I have no evidence to persuade you as to why I believe this.

The reason I have faith is because I choose to believe that God is love.

And if I truly believe in my mind and heart that this is real, I will also believe that He will never leave me.

I want to demonstrate this same love to the future Mrs.

I've talked to numerous couples from all across the spectrum:

- Newly engaged couple

- Newlyweds

- Married for 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, 8 years, 18 years, 20 years, 30 years.

I'm only 22 and I know that marriage takes work. Though I may not know the extent to how much is put in, I do know that it will be the most challenging and rewarding part of your life.

And with this statement, I will also say that it is great that I am single.

What better time to prepare for the rest of my life than right now?

I've made plenty of relationship mistakes in my life and will probably make a whole lot more.

I've second guessed my actions, blamed God for a lot of problems in those relationships and even used Him as a scapegoat.

Getting into a dating relationship is not going to automatically fix those problems and personal insecurities. I've had that mindset for so long and it is wrong!

I need to be responsible for my own growth as a person.

Anyway, I need to focus on what God has called me to right now.

I have a job to do, a ministry to serve and people to love.

More importantly, there is a God that I have done wrong over and over again.

I've been so selfish with my time and my relationship with God is becoming more of an obligation.

If the non-negotiable for dating is whether or not the woman loves and fears God, I should be able to say that I love and fear Him too.

To kinda end this little whatever it may be, I will say that I have no idea when God will grace me with a wife.

He can honestly take His sweet time because I know I'm not ready.

If He says otherwise then I don't know really. I'd probably be praying a bunch about it.

Everyone says, "You'll just know."

This is probably the most helpful advice for single people (completely sarcastic).

But, I will probably say the same thing when it happens to me which does not help the future teenagers I will undoubtedly talk to in the future.

I like where I'm at in life.

Sometimes it's hard. When I see friends get engaged or married, it kinda makes me think about when it will happen to me.

I don't have it all figured out and I'm not always optimistic.

There are times when waiting really sucks and I want to settle for the next cute girl I see.

This is my struggle and it's a good thing.

Even though there are times I would like to settle I never go through with it.

I blame it on a couple of awesome ex-girlfriends and some really godly women in my life.

So for my fellow single friends out there, I understand some of your frustrations and happiness.

Love is real.

Even though circumstances and past experience may point to the contrary, I'm here to say that love is just as alive today as it was yesterday.

It's worth waiting for, worth sharing and worth a lifetime.

Love is and will always be, above everything.

For Sky Gazers

There is a sky I wish to see

The vibrant colors reflect your personality

The clouds show off your creativity

And whether it is sunrise or sunset,

There is only beauty

I can't explain why this intangible masterpiece is 

Still elusive to my sight

Will you find me?

Or shall I search for you?

If so, where are you hiding and where shall I start?

I've surveyed this land, scanned my eyes across the seas

But looking at a horizontal direction

I only see glimpses

Bits and pieces of something truly remarkable

Different personalities here and inspiring creativity there.

Every so often there is something beautiful to behold

Words to describe and lungs to breathe it in

But I want to lose all of that when I look up and see you

I have yet to see a sky worth my gaze.

I want you to be the first

Before the sun sets today

There is a thirst that pleads to be satisfied

To drink in every moment at first sight

Will you let me find you?

Or shall I wait here?